Women of the 21st century have a serious jealousy issue to deal with, with the offender being not another woman or many other women – its their own men!! Men have given new meaning to the term gender equal – by growing breasts! With jugs the size of watermelons, who couldn't be envious? Ironically, like all Shakespearian tragedies have it, the only ones not entirely pleased with the situation are the men themselves. Which isn't entirely unfair, since although men are okay with the idea of getting in touch with their feminine side, that doesn't apply to growing their own mammaries.

While men reluctantly call their offensive protrusions boobs, and others call them bumpers, headlamps, knockers and a whole array of extremely offensive (but funny) names, science calls it Gynaecomastia, or the condition in which female-like breasts grow on a man's chest. Men have recently begun to find themselves caught, without a lifeline, in the quick sand of the "boobie" trap.

Gynaecomastia in puberty is very common, and although it can be a psychological burden, the physical condition doesn't last too long. So if your 18-year-old boyfriend has boobs, enjoy them while they last! In adults, however, its another story. Many, wrongly believe man boobs to be linked with obesity. Although obese men have frighteningly juggling boobs, they're not breasts in the traditional sense. Obesity causes fat to deposit in all the wrong parts of ones body, including the chest, the waist and the thighs, which is why so many "big" men carry a chest that would put Pamela Anderson to shame. But they're not boobs – that's just fat, and can be corrected, if someone is willing, through exercise.

Male breasts, or Gynaeomastia has a whole different explanation. All male bodies have estrogen and testosterone, the ratio being very well defined. When that ratio is disturbed, (as is in the case in Gynaeomastia with the male body being overdosed with estrogen) the body compensates by sprouting boobs. The body truly is a fascinating machine!

Everything, from certain processed foods, to alcohol and recreational drugs, and pretty much everything your mom told you not to have, gives you boobs. So if you're thinking of taking steroids for bodybuilding, or a nightcap with a beau, keep in mind that you could wake up the next morning Bert and Ernie sitting firmly atop your chest.

Now many will mislead you for a host of reasons (primarily financial reasons, i.e. they want to jip you and jip you good!) about the so-called benefits of chest exercises and "cardio" to tone those boobs and get them down to (man) size. While the exercise could be beneficial for other parts of your body, it won't have much affect on your boobs. If you want to get rid of them permanently, there are no shortcuts! The most effective ways of shedding your mau maus is by identifying and eliminating from your diet whatever it is that's giving your breasts life. Within a few weeks, those boobs will go and you'll gain your manhood back. If, however, you've been boob'd for more than a year, surgery might be looked into. The best way to proceed with this is by going to your doctor for consultation.

And if you're ever teased about your wopbopaloobops again, remember, what doesn't hurt you, won't kill you. Enjoy your (limited) life behind those nay-nays.