Introduction

Willa Moline is the ninth child of eleven children, born February 17th, 1953. To the parents of Edwin and Virginia Connolly. She has two brothers and eight sisters. Willa grew up in a small town of Friend Nebraska.

The family has been a close family, until recent events over the past several years. Events that will be later described in later chapters.

After High School graduation, Willa began working as a Nurse's Aide, a position that she has enjoyed doing for the past thirty years.

Willa met and married David Diessner, and from that marriage three children were born. They were John, Jamie, and Stephanie. Shortly after Stephanie was born, Willa and David were divorced. In 1982, Willa met Henry Moline met while they both were working in a local nursing home in York. They then dated in an off and on relationship for almost two years, until they got married in 1984.

Willa and Henry continued to live in York Nebraska. Then in November of 2002 they moved to a small town nearby named Utica. There they found a small town quiet town, where everyone says hello as you walk by, and no matter whom you are you will always be greeted with a smile. It was almost like the perfect town to spending your retirement years, when it came time for us to retire and begin relaxing from all the hustle and bustle of the working life. That was all about to change five months later.

Little did Willa or Henry know, that during those five months their lives were about to be turned into turmoil of stress, heartaches, and fear. Not just for Willa and Henry, but for all those who are close to Willa. Including her own children, they are going to face their worst nightmare. A nightmare that is never wished upon ant other family, not even their worst enemies.

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This is Willa Moline, my wife of over twenty years. A woman who has tolerated my shortcomings and past, to provide me a family of three wonderful children whom I have accepted as my own. Even though they are only my step-children, I love them just the same. This is her story of her being diagnosed with a stroke, overcoming the effects, and her continuous battle of what others think that she never had a stroke and that it was all misdiagnosed.

The story you are about to read is her account of the events leading up to her stroke, the battles of overcoming the effects from the stroke, and how she was slowly pushed out for her job that she loved. As well as her feelings, thoughts, and fears even to this very day of the writing of this book.

This is Willa's story told to me her husband, included are my accounts as well as her children's accounts. As you will see, this stroke affects everyone not just the victim.

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Chapter One

THE STROKE

"I want to tell everyone about my stroke and what I went through afterwards too. I hope that this book will make everyone understand that no two strokes are alike, and that a stroke doesn't affect just what's on the outside but what's on the inside as well.

I had my stroke on Monday April 21st of 2003. It was the day after Easter. It was really weird, as I had my stroke one day after Easter, and that my dad had a stroke in 1980 on April 21st which was two days after Easter and he died.

I remember my husband Henry leaving for work before 7 in the morning and that I got up to go to the bathroom. That's when everything began, in the bathroom. As I went to wash my hands, I fell back down to the toilet. It felt like everything was spinning around me. To this day, I still don't remember as to how I got back to bed. For it's still not clear to me.

We had no phone, but I don't think that I could have dialed the phone if we did have one. As everything just kept spinning. I prayed to god to keep me safe. I just lay in bed from 7 that morning until 7:30 that night. As I couldn't get out of bed to get help.

I remember looking at the clock in the bedroom, wishing that my husband would come home and find me.

When I heard my husband come home finally, I couldn't even holler out as I was so weak. He couldn't figure out why I wasn't in the living room and that the front door was still locked. He then came to the bed room to find me still lying in bed.

First thing I said to him was to call an ambulance. He asked me what was wrong and I said I can't walk. I think he knew something had to be really wrong here, for in order for me to tell him that he needed to call an ambulance for me. Since we didn't have a phone, he had to leave to make the call from a payphone in order to call for help. Shortly after he left, I heard the town's emergency sirens going off, to assemble the emergency unit. Utica's fire department is an all volunteer fire department.

Once again I still lay in my bed until the fire department arrived. While waiting I was getting scared as I never rode in an ambulance before. When they finally arrived, the guys and gal were really great. They were so nice and they responded very quickly to the call.

When I arrived at the hospital in York, I was taken directly to the emergency room. Everyone there was very nice to me. My husband made sure he got a hold of my children, John, Jamie and Stephanie. They were shocked that it was me that was in the hospital. They thought that my husband meant that their grandma was in the hospital at first. My son Jamie and my daughter Stephanie along with her daughter Keisha were able to come to the emergency room. My other son John couldn't come because he lived in Lincoln.

They wouldn't allow very many people in the room at one time. While I was being treated. When my daughter brought my grand daughter in the room, I saw her standing beside my bed with her hands on the rails and she looked so sad. I knew then that I had to fight to get better. I saw the sadness in her eyes when she asked.

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"Grandma what's wrong? Why are you laying there like that?'

I knew then that if I prayed hard enough and worked hard enough, I would get better.

The doctor that was on call that night was very good. She went out to my husband and told him, that they were looking at either a stroke or a brain tumor. My family was so scared; my husband told me later that he thought that I was going to die. Because I had looked to bad.

After the hospital got me settled down and in my room, my husband went over to where I worked to let them know that I wasn't going to be coming in to work in the morning. He told my co-workers what had happened, and they were sad to hear as to what my husband told them.

Some of my co-workers came to see me later the next day at the hospital, they were two nurses that I worked with, but I was sleeping at the time. They went back to the nursing home and told the others that I just looked terrible.

When my regular doctor came in to see me the day after I was admitted, he could not believe as to how bad I had looked. After talking with me, he then ordered more tests. He originally ordered a CAT scan, but he also wanted to have an MRI along with a series of blood tests too.

My doctor had me stand beside my bed to see how my balance was, and there was not much balance in me. So he ordered for me to begin physical therapy as soon as I was able to. When he said that, I knew that there was going to be a lot of work ahead for me. But for my family, I was determined to get better.

When I went for the MRI, I was scared because I don't like being in a small closed-in area. But it was quick and I was glad that it was over. When the results came in, my doctor told me that it confirmed his suspicions. It was then that I was told that I had a stroke for sure. It gave us all a sigh of relief, for we were more concerned that it may have been a brain tumor instead.

The doctor then took me off of my Estrogen medication for he said that the blood tests showed that my blood was really thick. He then started me on Coumadin to start thinning my blood down. He also started me on Micardia for my blood pressure, so to keep my blood pressure down too.

At physical therapy, they worked with me in getting my balance back. They also had me practice climbing up and down stairs too. It was really hard for me to keep my balance, especially when bending down. They also had me walk with a walker, so that I could balance myself while I'm walking.

After the third day of being in the hospital, my oldest son John and his wife and son came to visit me. It really feels good to have my family with me, when things are not looking too good at the moment.

My husband brought my mom to see me, she really had a hard time dealing with me being in the hospital and dealing with me having a stroke. For she always said that I was a very hard worker.

I was in the hospital for a week, before they allowed me to go home. My doctor also made an appointment to see a specialist in Lincoln; he wanted me to see a neurologist. The neurologist then ordered for me to have another MRI and to see a cardiologist for more tests. Again I had to take another dreaded MRI. They really make me feel uncomfortable. At first I thought that the MRI was the worst thing to have done, it turned out that it wasn't much of anything compared to the test that I was about to take later.

When I went to see the cardiologist, they went and had even more blood taken from me. Then they were going to do other tests called an Echo Transesophageal and a Carotid Duplex scan. The scan wasn't too bad, but the Echo Transesophageal was worst than it sounds. For that's when they take a probe down my throat to see how the heart was doing. The cardiologist said that my heart was fine.

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After all the tests, the neurologist then wrote to my doctor. It was then that they were able to determine for sure that I had a stroke and they were even able to tell me as to the type of stroke I had. It was called a Cerebellar Stroke.

All I could think about was when I could return to work, for my co-workers and even the Director of Nursing was asking as to when I was going to come back to work. But I knew that I had to get rid of the walker first and show my doctor that I was ready to go back to work.

When I went back to see the doctor, he was so surprised see that I wasn't using the walker or a cane. I told him that I'm just a very strong willed person, and that my family still needed me.

Finally after almost eight weeks since I had my stroke, the doctor was willing to allow me to return to work. But only with some restrictions. One was that I wasn't to lift anything over ten pounds and never lift over my head or side to side. My doctor also said that I was to only be on light duty."

CHAPTER TWO

RETURNING TO WORK

"After much begging with my doctor, to let me go and return to work. He finally agreed to let me return to work, but only with restrictions.

This meant that I wasn't going to be able to do a lot of the work that I was doing before I had the stroke, for my doctor didn't want me to do any heavy lifting of any kind over ten to fifteen pounds. I was only to do light duty until further notice.

The nursing home that I worked with agreed to the restrictions that the doctor had placed, and placed me on light duty. The home then assigned me to the Alzheimer's Unit. But after a couple of months, the home began to have me work in other areas. They also began to increase my workload too. I was sometimes doing things that I probably shouldn't have been doing, but I did it because I was afraid of getting fired for not doing my job.

The work became so hard for me after awhile, that I went and requested to cut back my hours to where I would work four days instead of five. I found out later that this was a big mistake. The Human Resource informed me that my health insurance was to be increased from a little over sixty dollars every month, to where I would have to pay two hundred and sixty dollars every month. There was no way I could afford this increase and with my health, I needed the insurance.

In February of 2004, it has been eight months since I returned to work, and it has been almost ten months since I had my stroke. It was then that my worst fear was about to come true. The fear that my employer was trying to get rid of me and take my job that I have enjoyed doing for years away from me.

One day I arrived at work, when I found a note on the bulletin board for me from the Director of Nursing (DON). The note stated that she wanted to talk with me as soon as possible. She wanted me to call her when I went on break, as it was about disability. I tried to call her, but she was at a meeting so I left a message on her voicemail. She never return my call.

As I was preparing to leave for home, the DON entered into the break room. She told me that she needed to talk to me and that we should go to her office.

She told me that she had met with the CEO and the Human Resource Officer (HRO) earlier today and that the HRO was willing to help me obtain disability. She asked me to bring her the names of all my doctors into her office by ten the next day, as she had another meeting with them to discuss this.

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I then mentioned to the DON about my getting back on to five days a week instead of four days, because I need the insurance and I can't afford it otherwise. She said that she will bring up my request with the Administrator.

The DON then asked me, that since I was going to the doctor later this week, if I could ask him to set up an appointment with the neurologist. I said that I would.

When I went to see the doctor, he was not happy to see that the nursing home was slowly lifting the restrictions and had me working in the moderate care unit. For in that unit, I was physically lifting residents, whereas that was not what he wanted me doing in the first place. He then wrote that I was to return to doing light duty in the Alzheimer's Unit. He also agreed to set up an appointment with the neurologist, but could see why the nursing home wanted me to see a neurologist. He also stated that it looks like to him too, that the nursing home wanted me out just like I had feared.

The next day, the DON called and my husband answered the phone. She told my husband to have me call her when I got the message. When I did try to return the call, there was no answer. So I had my husband bring me to the nursing home, to see if I could find her and see what she wanted. She told me about my appointment with the neurologist at the hospital's outpatient clinic, and that she thought that I would like to use my PTB (Paid Time Bank) and take those days off until after I see the neurologist. I told her that I would like that very much. She then told me to let her know what the neurologist says about me.

It was then that she also told me that I may have to quit my job, in order for me to get disability. She said that for me to continue light duty as the doctor ordered might be difficult for them to follow. She said that if anything happens to any of the residents under my care, could cause their liability insurance to go up. She also told me the she had talked to the Administrator about my returning to work at five days a week instead of four, and it was denied until I'm able to return without any restrictions for the Administrator didn't think it would be wise to do so otherwise.

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I was never told as to what time my appointment was to see the neurologist other than the date of the appointment. When I called the Outpatient Clinic to see what time the appointment was, the receptionist told me to leave my number and she will have the nurse give me a call. About fifteen minutes later, the nurse called to say that they have no appointment for me and that she had talked to the DON at the nursing home about it. She then told me that the DON was supposed to call me as she knew all about the situation.

Later that day I was sitting in the car waiting for my husband, for he was picking up our pet from the vet's office in Seward. I received a call from the DON; she then started to tell me about my appointment with the neurologist. To this day, I still don't understand as to how she was able to get into my medical business and make appointments for me. Isn't this a violation of my medical confidentiality? She then told me that my appointment with the neurologist was made for March at the hospital in York, she said that she tried to get me in sooner at the Lincoln office but they had no openings. She then asked if I would like to use some PTB and take the time off until I see the neurologist. I told her that I did not have the hours in my PTB to be able to take the time off. She then told me that I might have twenty hours left. I then told her that it wouldn't give me much of a check and she said stretch the hours out. I then asked if I could think about it and let her know. She said that I could think about it and let her know, but it wasn't optional and she said that the Administrator already approved it.

What gives them the right to do this to me, when the doctor never said for me to not work until I see the neurologist? I think it's just their way of pushing me out the door.

On the day of the appointment with the neurologist, my husband and I were having breakfast at McDonalds in Seward. It was then that the Outpatient Clinic called to say that the appointment was canceled; my husband took the call and relayed the message to me. The nurse said that the DON at the nursing home was aware of it and that the DON knows everything about the canceled appointment and as to why it was canceled. The nurse also told my husband that I should call the DON if I had any questions.

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When I went to the Nursing home the next day to talk with the DON, she told me that I should probably talk with my doctor about this. She also said that she doesn't know as to why the hospital is telling her this stuff because of the Hippa Law and that she could get herself into trouble. She said that they're going to recommend that I have a Fundamental test done on me to see how much I have lost. Because usually you know within eleven to twelve months after a stroke. She said that the doctor has to order the test as the insurance won't pay for it otherwise.

When I called the doctor's office, I left a message for either the doctor or his nurse to call me. The nurse called back and told me that they didn't know anything about what the DON and I was talking about earlier. I then went back to the DON and told her what the doctor's nurse told me. She said that she will call the nurse at the Outpatient Clinic.

I still don't see how they can discuss this matter concerning my medical, as I never signed a paper to allow anyone to obtain any information. For the nurse at the Outpatient Clinic and the DON are discussing things about me that my own doctor doesn't even know or is aware of.

The next day, the DON informed me that the nursing home won't be allowing anyone to perform light duty anymore. In other words, if I can't come back to work without restrictions, then I can't return to work at all. In other words, I don't have a job anymore and I can't get on disability.

I tried twice now, and both times I was turned down. I also tried to get assistance from the Health and Human Services, and I couldn't get any medical assistance from them either.

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CHAPTER THREE

DISABILITY AND THE PEOPLE'S VIEW

In June 2004, I went to the Social Security Office in Lincoln to apply for disability. If I'm not able to work anymore, I guess I might as well try and get disability on my own. Especially when the nursing home I once worked at, isn't going to help like they said they would. I even went to the Health and Human Services, because I needed help in the medical assistance.

The HHS said that they cannot help with medical unless I get disability. All they could do is provide food stamps for a short while. In fact it only lasted for about three months, and then there was no more. For my husband was working at a different job that paid more, and that put me out of the assistance with HHS.

Soon after that, I got word from SSI, in which I was turned down for disability benefits. They said that I was capable of working in a different line of work other than as a nurse's aide. So now I'm without any type of medical assistance, where my husband works, the health insurance is too expensive. So what else is there for me to do? I'm taking Micardia for my blood pressure, and it is over fifty dollars a month for it. So in order for me to continue taking the medication, I had to get free samples from the doctor's office. In fact, I have been receiving these free samples up until January 2007. Now all I have to do is pay a co-pay of twenty dollars every month.

In 2006, I went again and applied for disability. Again I was denied. It seems like my doctor is the only person other than my family that seems to agree that I have a disability. Well, not everyone in my family. I have three sisters Cindy, Nancy, and Jan, who says that the doctor misdiagnosed and that I only had the flu.

Tags & Keywords : Women's Health, Health, Strokes, Women